Out of nowhere, while the WIPSters were casually talking about yoga breastfeeding, the nutritional content of vampire urine and the merits of different epoxy putties, the subject of the sad Heroquest 25th boardgame arose. That's when Crooks found that picture and everything changed forever...
(beware, non-sense ahead...)
Captain Crooks
I'd probably buy that game. That's not the 25th anniversary one though
Cheetor
I like the ghost.
And the robot, lolz.
Asslessman
cyborc is cool
these guys were definitely having fun
Captain Crooks
I have the urge to make every model there. Like a shit version of that Boris guy
Cheetor
That looks like the perfect game to start playing on a Saturday at 1045hrs.
Asslessman
The Barbarian has even more muscles than the original
Cheetor
I wonder if they have back story?
Asslessman
Just look at them for 2 seconds and they do
Captain Crooks
I wont rest till I find out
Captain Crooks
https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/98734/herocults
Herocults
In this fantasy game, one of the players takes the role of the master, whose task is to prepare the game distributing several flagstones (which triggers different events when a hero stumbles upon them) and placing and later controlling the evil characters through the different halls and corridors of t...
Captain Crooks
It's a real game
Captain Crooks
Amaze graphics
Asslessman
Galax the cyborc…
Cheetor
Carta Favorable... I wonder what they do?
Captain Crooks
Is that green guy named Sauron??
Carta is map, surely?
Favourable map??
Cheetor
We can start a Scale Creep project:
Herocult Hero Cunts
I have dibs on Galax.
I hope that the snake is a playable character.
Cheetor
Asslessman
Aw fuck, I wanted Galax !
Cheetor
Carta is cards or documents too James, like the Magna Carta.
I'll take the snake if it's playable JB.
Captain Crooks
Ah. Favourable cards
Asslessman
I can settle on Zuongo otherwise
Captain Crooks
Nice to eliminate doubts there
Cheetor
I think that I want to play that game more than HeroQuest.
Asslessman
I'm struggling to figure if Crooks should have the Barbarian or Gigant
who's the most naked and muscular ?
Cheetor
I like the accidental photo bombing griffon in the front left.
Captain Crooks
I'll make them fight for the honour
Asslessman
Gigant has a better name
his name is already a promise he's pushing things too far
Cheetor
"Sqwhaaaaatt?"
Asslessman
and although the pic don't show, I'm sure he's bigger
Captain Crooks
Gigant looks tiny in the pic. He is either huge and very far away or just very ironically titled
Cheetor
To me my snakes! My cloak is aflame!
Captain Crooks
LOL
Asslessman
The dreaded Cormar summons adders and fire.
Cheetor
That guy is balancing a wasabi croissant on his head.
Herocult (that name...) looks like slam dunk hilarity for a hotel bar some time.
Asslessman
agreed
Captain Crooks
"Smothering coils just like we practiced! This is not a drill!"
Cheetor
"In this fantasy game, one of the players take the role of the master, whose task is to prepare the game distributing several flagstones (wich triggers different events when a hero stumbles upon them) and placing and later controlling the evil characters through the different halls and corridors of the board. The other players receive a "route card", which details the path their hero must follow through the game. The first to complete his route wins the game.
A quite simplified and obvious HeroQuest knock-off."
That's the description on BGG.
The Route Cards sound potentially funny.
Captain Crooks
I've read it three times and I'm still none the wiser about Carta Favourable
Asslessman
you've got to accept a bit of mistery mec
Captain Crooks
We should write the game ourselves with only that description as a guide
Cheetor
Treasure Cards. Buffs. Community Chest.
Asslessman
Maybe they made the cards but never actually had time to add the rules for them in the rule leaflet ?
Cheetor
We would ruin it Crooks. We would write something that kinda worked.
Asslessman
Like those parts in videogames which aren't fully implemented
Cheetor
The only review :
https://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/1626280/rompiendo-una-lanza-por-herocults
Captain Crooks
I'm so translating that
Asslessman
Do you know any spanish ?
Captain Crooks
Not even
Asslessman
good then
I'll only accept a 100% google translation
Cheetor
I read it.
It's less co-op than HQ.
Captain Crooks
Yeah the translation was good
Seems like combat was good
Each player has their own agenda
Cheetor
I like the agenda.
The fighting looks interesting with the two dice, but comparing a result with 40 or something sounds a bit ass.
Asslessman
Sorry for the prejudices but everyone having his own agenda is so latin
Asslessman
I'm sure their 2 main concerns were the coop part and the lack of cyborc
Captain Crooks
Our version would have the Barbarian, Gigant the halfling, Sauron and a snake as the playable characters
Asslessman
They fixed both issues
Captain Crooks
Fixed like a BOSS
Asslessman
which are the real 4 playable characters?
Captain Crooks
As if anyone can know that
I told you
Heroes the Barbarian
Gigant the halfling
Sauron the walking head and a snake
Asslessman
ok
Captain Crooks
Oh fine
I think it's the second from top left and the three to the right of him
Asslessman
I really like how HEROE seems to be doing all the work on teh cover while the others are either trying to bully or support him
Captain Crooks
Actually I'm wrong
All four playable characters are identical barbarians named Heroe
No joke
Asslessman
fuck me
Captain Crooks
Well they aren't named that
It's just the collective noun
A heroe of barbarians
Cheetor
Asslessman
Indeed
Captain Crooks
For a skeleton he sure knows what's what
Asslessman
How many characters does this make then ?
Captain Crooks
4 playable
Asslessman
Total I meant
Asslessman
For a full set, including the photobombing gryphon ?
Captain Crooks
Oh right
Is the Griffin even in the game?
Asslessman
He has to
Cheetor
Jesus Christ, I think I'm in love...
Captain Crooks
It doesn't correspond to any of the character cards
Asslessman
The human skull must be another character
Captain Crooks
SPACEGO
The board game of going space!
Cheetor
SPACEGO is like Mother Teresa dying on the same day as Princess Diana.
Captain Crooks
Sgt Largeboots vs the Toydarians is what that picture should be called
Cheetor
If SPACEGO had shown up on a day without Herocult, it would have been headline news.
Captain Crooks
SPACEGO is destined to be the Space Crusade of cheap knockoffs - harder to get into and harder to master but more rewarding for it
Probably
Probably not
Cheetor
We should do a Scale Creep project to recreate the cover of Herocult.
Asslessman
If it's worth doing it's worth overdoing...
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