I had an email from a dear reader yesterday asking for some thoughts on a life-career dilemma. Although I don't see myself as an expert on such matters, this is what I think about it, I am sure that there will also be some intelligent and thoughtful comments that may help. This is part of the email:
"I would like to suggest a post idea or just tap into your experience. I am 50 in December. My daughter is well educated and has a job in her chosen profession. I have some financial slack, but not masses. I would like to work 4 days in place of 5 days, but my employer refuses, as once these days are gone, they are gone (so they say). I just really struggle with putting my heart and soul into my work, as it doesn't meet my evolving goals of living simply and well. Although I am pretty well paid, I would like to spend more time on other pursuits. I feel trapped when looking for other jobs due to my age, but probably need another five years if not ten of full timish employment.
How did you/ would you cope during a time of transition such as this? Is it normal to lose interest in a profession as you get older?
My job is not dreadful, just feels stale and some of the people are literally waiting for the grim reaper and can be pretty negative company.
Just some thoughts, I know I can't be the only one in this boat."
While I am very much aware that we all need a certain amount to live on, I think you should also consider your level of happiness and satisfaction. In my own situation, I went from being a very ambitious career woman who competed every day against men to secure work for my own company, to realising that I didn't want that anymore. That happened over a period of a couple of months, although I did have nagging feelings of regret for a year or so before I decided to do something about it. I'm not sure if it's common to most women but I certainly know how you're feeling.
I have always had the view that I should truly live every day of my life. I want to be open to new experiences, I want to learn something new every day and I want to earn happiness and satisfaction by doing the best I can, no matter what I am doing. I love the term, "the full measure of a day" - that is what I strive for every day. If each day holds a different potential that needs to be identified and mined to to its full extent, I am there with my sleeves rolled up every morning, ready for it. Some days that potential is glaringly obvious with a day full of works in progress, and some days it's simply to take in the joy of each hour, to observe and feel truly alive and grateful for it.
Each hour, day, week, month and year of your life is yours to make the best of. I have an old friend who, when we lived in a mining town together, used to say she wouldn't put a garden in because it wasn't her real home and those things would have to wait until she moved to her "real" home. I was of the opposite opinion, that those years we spent there were part of my life just as this is now, and I had to find the best that I could in each day. That is when I learned how to garden, keep chooks, preserve and stockpile.
If you don't feel appreciated or enthusiastic about your job now, and they won't let you downsize your job, can you start looking for another job? I know it's tough finding a job at age almost-50 but there must be some companies who need mature, well trained people. Is it possible to send your resume around? Don't wait to find an advertisement in the paper, just send your resume to companies you'd like to work for and see what happens. You might be surprised. Also, go to an employment agency and submit your resume. Look at work in another kinds of jobs too, you don't have to keep doing what you're doing now. I run our Neighbourhood Centre two days a week, it's the most rewarding and interesting job I've ever had and I would never have thought to choose that kind of work before. So look outside the square when you're looking for work. In Australia now we have more jobs that we have people to fill them, I'm not sure what the situation is where you live but you might be surprised if you venture into the job market.
In the meantime though, and this is very important, remember that each day is part of your life that you'll never get to relive when you're in a better situation. Despite its complications, your job is part of your simple life. If you can't change it, don't let it change you. Take your craft or reading to work with you and incorporate them into your breaks, take your lunch to work, take time to relax while you're there with brief deep breathing or stretching breaks, find some library books that will teach you new skills and read them at lunchtime. Do whatever you can within the confines of your work situation to make you feel better about being there.
I think you should try to get another job where you work the hours you want to work, so you can wrap your life around a job you like. It looks like a two-pronged approach to me. Get that resume out to a lot of companies - even for work you haven't done before but would enjoy now, and while you remain in your current job, stop feeling trapped by it, take the bull by the horns and take your simple life with you to work. Realise you're in a period of transition and you are slowly working your way to a better life. And good luck.
I wonder what gems of wisdom we'll find in the comments box today. : )
"I would like to suggest a post idea or just tap into your experience. I am 50 in December. My daughter is well educated and has a job in her chosen profession. I have some financial slack, but not masses. I would like to work 4 days in place of 5 days, but my employer refuses, as once these days are gone, they are gone (so they say). I just really struggle with putting my heart and soul into my work, as it doesn't meet my evolving goals of living simply and well. Although I am pretty well paid, I would like to spend more time on other pursuits. I feel trapped when looking for other jobs due to my age, but probably need another five years if not ten of full timish employment.
How did you/ would you cope during a time of transition such as this? Is it normal to lose interest in a profession as you get older?
My job is not dreadful, just feels stale and some of the people are literally waiting for the grim reaper and can be pretty negative company.
Just some thoughts, I know I can't be the only one in this boat."
While I am very much aware that we all need a certain amount to live on, I think you should also consider your level of happiness and satisfaction. In my own situation, I went from being a very ambitious career woman who competed every day against men to secure work for my own company, to realising that I didn't want that anymore. That happened over a period of a couple of months, although I did have nagging feelings of regret for a year or so before I decided to do something about it. I'm not sure if it's common to most women but I certainly know how you're feeling.
I have always had the view that I should truly live every day of my life. I want to be open to new experiences, I want to learn something new every day and I want to earn happiness and satisfaction by doing the best I can, no matter what I am doing. I love the term, "the full measure of a day" - that is what I strive for every day. If each day holds a different potential that needs to be identified and mined to to its full extent, I am there with my sleeves rolled up every morning, ready for it. Some days that potential is glaringly obvious with a day full of works in progress, and some days it's simply to take in the joy of each hour, to observe and feel truly alive and grateful for it.
Each hour, day, week, month and year of your life is yours to make the best of. I have an old friend who, when we lived in a mining town together, used to say she wouldn't put a garden in because it wasn't her real home and those things would have to wait until she moved to her "real" home. I was of the opposite opinion, that those years we spent there were part of my life just as this is now, and I had to find the best that I could in each day. That is when I learned how to garden, keep chooks, preserve and stockpile.
If you don't feel appreciated or enthusiastic about your job now, and they won't let you downsize your job, can you start looking for another job? I know it's tough finding a job at age almost-50 but there must be some companies who need mature, well trained people. Is it possible to send your resume around? Don't wait to find an advertisement in the paper, just send your resume to companies you'd like to work for and see what happens. You might be surprised. Also, go to an employment agency and submit your resume. Look at work in another kinds of jobs too, you don't have to keep doing what you're doing now. I run our Neighbourhood Centre two days a week, it's the most rewarding and interesting job I've ever had and I would never have thought to choose that kind of work before. So look outside the square when you're looking for work. In Australia now we have more jobs that we have people to fill them, I'm not sure what the situation is where you live but you might be surprised if you venture into the job market.
In the meantime though, and this is very important, remember that each day is part of your life that you'll never get to relive when you're in a better situation. Despite its complications, your job is part of your simple life. If you can't change it, don't let it change you. Take your craft or reading to work with you and incorporate them into your breaks, take your lunch to work, take time to relax while you're there with brief deep breathing or stretching breaks, find some library books that will teach you new skills and read them at lunchtime. Do whatever you can within the confines of your work situation to make you feel better about being there.
I think you should try to get another job where you work the hours you want to work, so you can wrap your life around a job you like. It looks like a two-pronged approach to me. Get that resume out to a lot of companies - even for work you haven't done before but would enjoy now, and while you remain in your current job, stop feeling trapped by it, take the bull by the horns and take your simple life with you to work. Realise you're in a period of transition and you are slowly working your way to a better life. And good luck.
I wonder what gems of wisdom we'll find in the comments box today. : )
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